if you cut me and i don't bleed. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to, you know? i'm sorry. I'm still me below the bruises and scorn. trust me. you have no reason to but if you don't then you won't ever know or find it or understand but i doubt you'd even mind it. i'm sorry. for my mistakes and my success, for everything. i'll tie it up. wind it all up inside. into a small ball. each thread that's been dipped into the mixer. all so fragile. i'll tie them up and they won't bother you again. i'll it inside. i'll fold myself up and tidy it all away. all the mess and messed up madness i've made. all of it. i'll make it better. i promise. i'm sorry. i used to know you so well. maybe i never knew you at all. i think i'll find myself lost in my own home's sordid sanctuary. but what do i know? when the world itself disagrees with my existence, where should i go and what, WHAT do i know? take it all away and i'll stay. i can only blame myself and i'm sorry. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I CAN'T DO THIS. OKAY?! I'M SORRY.

I hate how quickly time goes by

i went to see my old school from year six and all of my teachers and stuff and it was nice but i sort of felt like crying beacuse everything's changed so much! some change is good but life's running circles around me and it's hard to keep up. but everything hard is worthwhile you know!

love you, really I do

XX
__

Isn't everyone so confused with all the blogs people can write on?

...Me neither.

kudos to anyone who's ever done anything.

mmm hmmm

i hear jerusalem bells are ringing...

viva la vida

LOVE

XX
__

though i can't find the way

everything's okay
because i'll find it someday
i just hope that someday comes one day soon. yeah.

Have you every thought that you might really, really want something? Be so convinced that this is the right direction for you? Know in your very heart of hearts that this one thing will make you happy? and then come to realise that you're just a little kid who knows not what she wants and even less what she needs or even is? My new years resolution shall be to say Hate less and Love more and through doing so STOP complaining. HOWEVER, 2010 is yet to be upon us so I have a whole month to carry on complaining...
I could so go for some strawberries right now...mmmmmmmm i haven't had strawberries since the summer or summat. dang they're good. i'm kind of full of chicken noodle soup right now though so I can't reall eat all that much. shahcker.
do you know what? if i were to add both a G and an H onto the end of my name then it would actually read as Kayteigh (kay-tee) rather than kaytI or Kay-tay. hmmmm. i think kayteigh would be kind overkill. oh well. i'm happy with kaytei, it feels good to write down.

XX
__

i'll follow you into the dark

hold my hand
i'm scared to be alone
i can't make up my mind
i'm no good on my own
hold me close
i can't bear to let you go
i can't start to decide
but i want for you to know.
X X
__

I'm not that mad

It's about time I updated Mania, and very soon I shall be releasing the next part of The Chronicles Of Torture. It may have less parts than I first thought, because I really want to start the Shattered World! It's like waiting for a few hours to get something you really want, if you know what I mean.

Moving on to the main subject, I AM NOT GOING TO UPDATE MANIA WITH RANDOM BLOG POSTS SUCH AS THE ONES ON PC PLOD!!! To do so would breach copyright laws set by Mr Staples. I might invite him to post on Mania though, with a few other people.

If you want to be able to post on Mania, simply send a message to DarthZazen@gmail.com!

Hello to the world!!!

So I checked me email recently, and discovered that I have an invitation from the Lord of Zaros to post on here. That's good, and although I can't post on Dementia, I don't blame him, because it is his original blog after all, and even though I don't post much on Mark Geranium any more, I couldn't bear to let anyone else ever post on it.

That's missing the point. The POINT is - I CAN WRITE ON HERE!!!!!!

And I'm not sure what to write.

I still don't know what Zaros is planning to do with this blog. I think, deep down, he's making some really cool Trilogy of Stories - Patient X, Chronicles of Torture and the mysterious third title (I don't know what it will be called, perhaps 'The Shattered World' as he said in one of his comments). They're mostly unrelated, but all take place in the same... universe? Possibly.

Anyway, I may be clutching at straws, but I think that would be a really good idea! After all, he is an extremely good writer. Patient X was really good and had a brilliant twist, and the Chronicles of Torture is going in a good direction, and does have a good air of mystery about it, just like Patient X. The Trilogy of Mystery... now that's a good name!

Anyway, I'll go for now, but I want to hear what Zaros says about this matter. I'm not going to pressurise him to write another story. But if he wants any help, e.g. wants to know whether a certian plot is a good idea, just email me and that will be good.

And one final note, now that Zaros can post on Poetry Arty Stuff, I am facing some serious rivalry. The Song is heart-breakingly good (but I do apologise to everyone for mentioning 'Boody Boody Boo' to him, which he completely forgot about, therefore rekindling his interest/madness. There's something else my sister said once as well, but I think he's forgotten that. I hope).

Anyway, goodbye! And sorry for the hyperactive nature of this post!!!

Date? Time?

I've just realised that I haven't written on this blog for about 10 days, and the huge date-gaps between post may begin to increase. I am therefore doing something to this blog that I'm not sure how to do!

A bit of a disaster

As many readers may know, I am going to write the 'Chronicles of Torture' soon. However, there is a slight problem: the method of torture. It is between Jam and High Pressure, so I will randomly pick one out of a pillow case (hats are boring) and the winner will be in the 'Chronicles of Torture'.

IN OTHER NEWS

The 'Chronicles of Torture' will be written VERY soon.

The Realm of Dementia

On Dementia, there is currently a poll going on for the 'Chronicles of Torture' series, a story that I hope will last for a while. Please remember to vote and ask friends to vote as well! Also, I am aware that there is a website called http://gatesofmadness.blogspot.com . This is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WEBSITE TO MANIA!!! If you ever have trouble getting to Mania because of a slight change in address (gatesTO , not gatesOF), you might want to follow this blog to make it easier, or just visit my profile if you don't want to follow anyone.

Still at work

It may be some time before anyone reads this, but oh well. Mania may still be under construction by the 7th, so keep that in mind. Also, Dementia has been redecorated successfully!

Welcome, to Mania!

Yes, while you all thought I was remaking Dementia, I was secretly creating another blog. Of course, I had to change Dementia or it would be obvious that something was going on. Something BIG. Hopefully you will enjoy the mental side to life, and have a whole new view of life itself.